Joe "Satch" Satriani (born July 15,
1956) is an instrumental rock
guitarist and teacher, and a
recognized virtuoso rock guitarist.

Quotes
If someone can relate my guitar
solo to an exercise in a book ...
that's no fun at all.
As quoted in Guitar Player
(November 1989)
It really sucks when music is so
perfect you just don't need to hear it
anymore.
Discussing his intentionally-
out-of-tune intro to "Back To
Shalla Bal" and contrasting it to
the "perfectness" of Abba's vocals.
As quoted in Guitar Player
(November 1989)
I'm ready to take the heat.
On the decision to sing vocals
himself for Flying In A Blue
Dream , as quoted in Guitar
Magazine (March 1990)
My inspirations don't come from
outer space, they just come to me.
I have no idea why they come
when they do.
As quoted in Guitar Magazine
(March 1990)
Song ideas have come to me in
the middle of interviews, in the
shower, or while I'm writing
another song.
As quoted in Guitar Magazine
(March 1990)
I write the songs first and in
most cases teach myself the
technique second.
As quoted in BAM Magazine (6
April 1990)
My first [guitar] lessons lasted two
weeks and it was "Jingle Bells." It
didn't make any sense at all. I wanted
to know how to play like Hendrix...
As quoted in BAM Magazine (6
April 1990)
I've always spent a lot of time on
my records with what I think were
unique rhythmic approaches ... but
no one ever writes about your
rhythm playing
As quoted in BAM Magazine (6
April 1990)
When you hear an instrumental
song someone is singing over, you
know right away it's wrong.
As quoted in BAM Magazine (6
April 1990)
I can embarrass myself very
easily on guitar. It's funny because
people say to me I can play anything;
I'm God on the guitar. But I could
make a big list of everything I can't
play... I'm grateful that people don't
notice that.
As quoted in BAM Magazine (6
April 1990)
Eee-nee-mee-nee-my-nee-moe
His vocal warmup, as quoted in
Guitar World (October 1990)
18th September, 1970; Jimi
Hendrix dies. I'm still on the football
team when I get the news. So I take
my helmet off and confront the
coach to tell him I'm quitting the
team. In a moment of brilliance he
gives me one look and says "OK".
Interviewed in Joe Satriani: The
Satch Tapes (1993)
I think it's quite painfully obvious
when someone's practicing through
an amp, as opposed to someone
who's really laying down some stuff
that just happens to be fast.
As quoted in "Shred on Arrival"
by Alan di Perna in Guitar World
(November 1993)
The Squares [his former band]
never really fit in. We weren't rock
enough. We weren't alternative
enough. We weren't new wave
enough and we weren't punk enough.
Maybe we just weren't the right
people for the band.
As quoted in "Shred on Arrival"
in Guitar World (November 1993)
Mozart was a freaky kind of
shredder.
As quoted in "Shred on Arrival"
in Guitar World (November 1993)
I assume most guitar players are
like me. They're playing, having fun;
then they get a magazine in the mail
that says " Shred Is Dead" and they
say, "What the Hell?" They throw it
away and keep on playing.
As quoted in "Shred on Arrival"
in Guitar World (November 1993)
When you think about where
guitar playing is going today...: it's
going everywhere at the same time.
As quoted in "Shred on Arrival"
in Guitar World (November 1993)
I'll tell you one thing: I will always
play the sh** out of my guitar.
As quoted in "Shred on Arrival"
in Guitar World (November 1993)
Sounds cool. Looks cool. Feels
cool.
On what he likes most about
the guitar, as quoted by Metal
Edge (April 1994)
Relax. Be yourself. Play a lot.
Advice for other musicians, as
quoted by Metal Edge (April 1994)
When these guitar mags bring up
that stuff up and say such and such
came up with this and that which is
pushing the boundaries, I just say,
"let's step back for a minute and
admit something: nothing has
happened for the last 100 years."
And it's okay. It's not a bad thing ...
We're all working with "tools" that
have been in existence for the last
100 years and there hadn't been a
new "tool" for a long long time.
As quoted in RIP magazine
(June 1994)
Basic anatomy. That has got to be
the ongoing frustration: Why can't
my fingers do what I want them to
do? Not being able to play what I
hear in my head — that is the
ultimate source of frustration.
As quoted in Joe Satriani : Riff
By Riff (1994) by Rich Maloof
When you hear something you
don't like, don't ever play it again.
As quoted in Joe Satriani : Riff
By Riff (1994) by Rich Maloof
...Is the greatest guitar player in
the world.
Steve Vai about Satriani, as
quoted in Joe Satriani : The Satch
Tapes (1993)
Satriani's Law: There's at least a
30% chance that someone will print
the name Satriani incorrectly
As quoted in Luminous Flesh
Giants Tour Itinerary booklet
(1995)
Guitars are fun. There are plenty
of different kinds to play. They look
cool. They sound cool. Don't *you*
want to play guitar?
As quoted in Musician
magazine (November 1996)
There's a fine line between giving
the sense of freedom and being too
free.
Discussing how he always
works out parts that use pitch axis
theory, as quoted in Guitar
Magazine (November 1996)
Solos I kind of [couldn't] care less
about. I know most people probably
think that's what I care most about,
but it's really the melody playing that
is the cornerstone of what I'm
working on.
As quoted in Guitar Magazine
(August 1997)
I've always done "the wrong thing"
and had a pretty wonderful time
doing it.
In response to a question about
whether he thinks fans would be
shocked by "Enigines of Creation",
as quoted in Guitar World (May
2000)
I pride myself on being
incorrigible. I have a very hard
time being told what to do.
As quoted in Guitar World (May
2000)
When I want to play music, you've
got to get me on tape or else it goes.